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Morgan Kell Drowned Me and All I Got was This Lousy Clan Mech
Genghis Con went swimmingly, as you might imagine.
Had a wonderful time at Genghis Con this weekend with my Wizards Chest Crew, and the Southwest Crew, who came up to play with us from New Mexico and Arizona! We were pretty booked this year, the con was really full! But for Tacticon in the summer, we are looking at having an annual Chile bowl! Green chile vs green chile! Wait. Never mind, we all win, carry on.
I am however, fated to do epic shit in the most unepic unpainted mechs.
I entered the Luthien event (run by the ineffable B) which was part of his “Operation Revival” league that he’s run before. I was one of the few that hadn’t seen this scenario before, in fact. It was being run again in honor of our special guest Michael Stackpole, as one or more of the mechs involved was one of his.
The scenario as presented: You are a Smoke Jaguar 'MechWarrior, desperately seeking a way out of the Kado-Guchi Valley and into the Imperial City. Fight alongside your teammates and against the GM in the climactic moments during the struggle for control over the Imperial capital of Luthien. We are explicitly told that we will earn more points in zellbrigen (honourable combat) than for the objective, which is to crest the hill and enter the city. There are two mechs on the field to start, which are not blocking the exit.
This, as you might have already determined, is a trap. The fact that G is sitting there as the backup GM tells me that this is a trap I didn’t want to be in, and I should make for the exit expeditiously, before the trap is sprung. He’s also on the other side of the board, which is a relief, as he is looking entirely too pleased with himself, and I don’t feel like being stomped off the board in the first two rounds. I was guessing that zellbrigen was also a trap, but couldn’t determine what kind, as I don’t do a lot of Clan Invasion or post Civil War for that matter, and frankly am not particularly familiar with the Clans at all.
I’m in a Mad Dog (Vulture) B with a point of standard laser Elementals. They do not become any more pertinent to the story, unfortunately. We’re doing the usual initiative via cards- low cards move first, high cards fire first on the way back down the track. I’m getting mid draws.
I figure I’ll let others hog the glory and points, I’ll go get the prize (objective). And then the Wolf’s Dragoons show up at the top of the hill with a command lance on B’s card. There’s that trap I was talking about. And we’re a bunch of filthy clanners who can’t work together to save our lives, which we’d have to do to get by the Dragoons.
The worst part is that G is still not occupied. Oh, he’s getting a few little things to do, but he’s clearly ‘in reserve’. There are no circumstances under which I think this is a good idea, unless he’s on my side, and even then, I’m just trying to get out of the way for when he comes out of the box.
Which he does, next round. With a lance of mechs I don’t recognize off hand, though I later find out they’re Kuritan/Draconis Combine. They begin eating the mechs on the other side of the map from me. Like, I look up, and there’s half the mechs there that should be. Grand.
Well, I have a round to get clear of this side of the board, I guess, because I have my back to the edge they’ll be arriving on.
Nope.
Bunch of red painted mechs on my side of the board show up on the next card. One of them singles me out, declares that he’s Morgan Kell, Captain of the Kell Hounds, and he’s destroyed dozens of better mech warriors than me, and he demands that I enter zellbrigen with him.
Okay.
I’ve been in a lot of fights. I’ve been insulted by a lot of dudes (it’s always men, isn’t it?) I’ve been under estimated. I’ve been mistaken for other fighters. I’ve been mistaken for better fighters than myself. And when some entitled jerk with a big name and bigger ego comes up and demands honourable combat in the middle of melee, you say YES.
Not because it’s honourable or you’re flattered, or some bullshit. Because now you can tie this egotistical motherfucker up for the rest of the battle and hopefully let your guys take the objective unimpeded. If you recognize their name, they’re probably pretty good, and if not, they’re probably pretty disruptive. Either way, you want them off the field.
Yeah, I’m a pain in the ass on the field. I don’t march, I don’t stand for inspection, I don’t fight for free (and the food better be good), and I sure as fuck don’t take a direct order without a bunch of back talk. I am a team player though. Army of sergeants, not army of heroes. When push comes to shove, there’s an objective and that’s what we’re here for, and sometimes you take one for the team.
I mean, I forgot that we were a bunch of filthy clanners and were too busy beingassholes heros fight as a team, but the principle was correct. My bad, that’s on me for forgetting that I didn’t have a team, I had clan.
Morgan Kell. Now this bastard is in old IS gear- an archer. It seems to have some kind of jamming equipment, he’s got some magic woo that makes him hard to hit. Grand. I get off a shot, hit him in the head for 7 damage. Nice. Not enough to crit or get through, but a headshot none the less. He’s chewing me up. I realize he’s autohitting me with his lasers. But, the missiles- ah, those are IS standard and have minimum range. Lets get friendly, shall we? I get up close and personal, because clan tech and no minimum range. Let’s try for that headshot again. He turns away, that lousy dezgra.
Well, someone’s gonna get kicked.
Now I’m in a Mad Dog, which if you aren’t familiar, generates about twice as much heat as it can sink. I normally run heat neutral mechs, because I’m not dumb (and the Wolverine rules, fight me). So I’m definitely not alpha striking this guy, though I probably should have, it would have been a good idea to overheat and just take this guy out, but I tend to play a bit too conservatively for that.
We’re in the trees, I’m behind him, because he turned away from me, in zell, like the dezgra he is. I shoot him, he shoots back, and I kick him. Things are going well. He’s taken another head shot, which has stripped the armor from his head, leaving 3 points of structure, I’ve lost my right arm, right torso, bunch of armor on the left leg. But this bastard isn’t chasing down anyone else at least.
When I look up to see how things are going, the rest of the field is looking distressingly thin on my side.
Like, there’s a lot of elementals, but not a lot of clan mechs, if you catch my drift. Draconis Combine are apparently appalling dezgra and keep breaking zell to kill other people, G is being a murder hobo over there, if the heir to the Combine and his heir and their bodyguard can be described as ‘hobos’ in any applicable way
Well, nothing to be done, someone has to kill Morgan Kell, and if not me, maybe the guy to my right from the Springs crew who is chewing through some other Kell Hounds. Nice work there.
The guy to my left falls to a Kell Hound, and suddenly I realize that it’s me and the guy to my right. Literally. We’re what’s left on the field, the last two clan mechs.
Ouch.
I get a bad card, and I go before Morgan Kell. I opt to stand my ground, as Kell hasn’t moved in two turns. Bad idea. Kell comes around to the side of me. I fire rear streak SRMs, he fires full force on me (misses) and in the physical phase, pushes me off the cliff into the water below. It’s 4 levels down. I take damage to the legs. I automatically fall. I breach, because I have no arm, armor, etc. I drown.
The guy to my right falls immediately after, and I can’t even be avenged.
And that, my friends, is the story of how Morgan Kell Drowned Me and All I Got was This Lousy Clan Mech.
Prologue:
B tells me that I held out the longest against Morgan Kell, and that I actually did the most damage to him of the 3 times he’s run that scenario. He picked me to zell because the other two people close to Kell on that side had played the scenario and would have said no.
I told him why I said yes, and he was surprised that I had not only recognized the name but agreed to zell anyway, to keep him off the field. I also mentioned that I forgot we were filthy clanners who couldn’t stop fighting long enough to win the scenario, but still.
Had a wonderful time at Genghis Con this weekend with my Wizards Chest Crew, and the Southwest Crew, who came up to play with us from New Mexico and Arizona! We were pretty booked this year, the con was really full! But for Tacticon in the summer, we are looking at having an annual Chile bowl! Green chile vs green chile! Wait. Never mind, we all win, carry on.
I am however, fated to do epic shit in the most unepic unpainted mechs.
I entered the Luthien event (run by the ineffable B) which was part of his “Operation Revival” league that he’s run before. I was one of the few that hadn’t seen this scenario before, in fact. It was being run again in honor of our special guest Michael Stackpole, as one or more of the mechs involved was one of his.
The scenario as presented: You are a Smoke Jaguar 'MechWarrior, desperately seeking a way out of the Kado-Guchi Valley and into the Imperial City. Fight alongside your teammates and against the GM in the climactic moments during the struggle for control over the Imperial capital of Luthien. We are explicitly told that we will earn more points in zellbrigen (honourable combat) than for the objective, which is to crest the hill and enter the city. There are two mechs on the field to start, which are not blocking the exit.
This, as you might have already determined, is a trap. The fact that G is sitting there as the backup GM tells me that this is a trap I didn’t want to be in, and I should make for the exit expeditiously, before the trap is sprung. He’s also on the other side of the board, which is a relief, as he is looking entirely too pleased with himself, and I don’t feel like being stomped off the board in the first two rounds. I was guessing that zellbrigen was also a trap, but couldn’t determine what kind, as I don’t do a lot of Clan Invasion or post Civil War for that matter, and frankly am not particularly familiar with the Clans at all.
I’m in a Mad Dog (Vulture) B with a point of standard laser Elementals. They do not become any more pertinent to the story, unfortunately. We’re doing the usual initiative via cards- low cards move first, high cards fire first on the way back down the track. I’m getting mid draws.
I figure I’ll let others hog the glory and points, I’ll go get the prize (objective). And then the Wolf’s Dragoons show up at the top of the hill with a command lance on B’s card. There’s that trap I was talking about. And we’re a bunch of filthy clanners who can’t work together to save our lives, which we’d have to do to get by the Dragoons.
The worst part is that G is still not occupied. Oh, he’s getting a few little things to do, but he’s clearly ‘in reserve’. There are no circumstances under which I think this is a good idea, unless he’s on my side, and even then, I’m just trying to get out of the way for when he comes out of the box.
Which he does, next round. With a lance of mechs I don’t recognize off hand, though I later find out they’re Kuritan/Draconis Combine. They begin eating the mechs on the other side of the map from me. Like, I look up, and there’s half the mechs there that should be. Grand.
Well, I have a round to get clear of this side of the board, I guess, because I have my back to the edge they’ll be arriving on.
Nope.
Bunch of red painted mechs on my side of the board show up on the next card. One of them singles me out, declares that he’s Morgan Kell, Captain of the Kell Hounds, and he’s destroyed dozens of better mech warriors than me, and he demands that I enter zellbrigen with him.
Okay.
I’ve been in a lot of fights. I’ve been insulted by a lot of dudes (it’s always men, isn’t it?) I’ve been under estimated. I’ve been mistaken for other fighters. I’ve been mistaken for better fighters than myself. And when some entitled jerk with a big name and bigger ego comes up and demands honourable combat in the middle of melee, you say YES.
Not because it’s honourable or you’re flattered, or some bullshit. Because now you can tie this egotistical motherfucker up for the rest of the battle and hopefully let your guys take the objective unimpeded. If you recognize their name, they’re probably pretty good, and if not, they’re probably pretty disruptive. Either way, you want them off the field.
Yeah, I’m a pain in the ass on the field. I don’t march, I don’t stand for inspection, I don’t fight for free (and the food better be good), and I sure as fuck don’t take a direct order without a bunch of back talk. I am a team player though. Army of sergeants, not army of heroes. When push comes to shove, there’s an objective and that’s what we’re here for, and sometimes you take one for the team.
I mean, I forgot that we were a bunch of filthy clanners and were too busy being
Morgan Kell. Now this bastard is in old IS gear- an archer. It seems to have some kind of jamming equipment, he’s got some magic woo that makes him hard to hit. Grand. I get off a shot, hit him in the head for 7 damage. Nice. Not enough to crit or get through, but a headshot none the less. He’s chewing me up. I realize he’s autohitting me with his lasers. But, the missiles- ah, those are IS standard and have minimum range. Lets get friendly, shall we? I get up close and personal, because clan tech and no minimum range. Let’s try for that headshot again. He turns away, that lousy dezgra.
Well, someone’s gonna get kicked.
Now I’m in a Mad Dog, which if you aren’t familiar, generates about twice as much heat as it can sink. I normally run heat neutral mechs, because I’m not dumb (and the Wolverine rules, fight me). So I’m definitely not alpha striking this guy, though I probably should have, it would have been a good idea to overheat and just take this guy out, but I tend to play a bit too conservatively for that.
We’re in the trees, I’m behind him, because he turned away from me, in zell, like the dezgra he is. I shoot him, he shoots back, and I kick him. Things are going well. He’s taken another head shot, which has stripped the armor from his head, leaving 3 points of structure, I’ve lost my right arm, right torso, bunch of armor on the left leg. But this bastard isn’t chasing down anyone else at least.
When I look up to see how things are going, the rest of the field is looking distressingly thin on my side.
Like, there’s a lot of elementals, but not a lot of clan mechs, if you catch my drift. Draconis Combine are apparently appalling dezgra and keep breaking zell to kill other people, G is being a murder hobo over there, if the heir to the Combine and his heir and their bodyguard can be described as ‘hobos’ in any applicable way
Well, nothing to be done, someone has to kill Morgan Kell, and if not me, maybe the guy to my right from the Springs crew who is chewing through some other Kell Hounds. Nice work there.
The guy to my left falls to a Kell Hound, and suddenly I realize that it’s me and the guy to my right. Literally. We’re what’s left on the field, the last two clan mechs.
Ouch.
I get a bad card, and I go before Morgan Kell. I opt to stand my ground, as Kell hasn’t moved in two turns. Bad idea. Kell comes around to the side of me. I fire rear streak SRMs, he fires full force on me (misses) and in the physical phase, pushes me off the cliff into the water below. It’s 4 levels down. I take damage to the legs. I automatically fall. I breach, because I have no arm, armor, etc. I drown.
The guy to my right falls immediately after, and I can’t even be avenged.
And that, my friends, is the story of how Morgan Kell Drowned Me and All I Got was This Lousy Clan Mech.
Prologue:
B tells me that I held out the longest against Morgan Kell, and that I actually did the most damage to him of the 3 times he’s run that scenario. He picked me to zell because the other two people close to Kell on that side had played the scenario and would have said no.
I told him why I said yes, and he was surprised that I had not only recognized the name but agreed to zell anyway, to keep him off the field. I also mentioned that I forgot we were filthy clanners who couldn’t stop fighting long enough to win the scenario, but still.